Terrible Threes
by athaye12
Summary: With the Potato Heads gone for a day leaving Hamm babysitting the 3 LGM's, what do these little devils find themselves getting into? Rated T for suggestive space ranger/cowgirl scenes. Pairings: Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Buzz and Jessie, Rex and Trixie.


**What is this, another story? Well it's spring break finally and to celebrate not having homework and a weekend off of work, me and jessiejane10 came up with this silly story. **

**Disclaimer: Pixar/Toy Story is not mine, and will never be. *sad face* **

* * *

"Wake up, Bonnie! Aren't you excited about finally going back to school?"

Bonnie opened her eyes and peered up at her mother through the harsh sunlight emitting through the blinds on the windows. After almost a week of being sick with the flu and staying in bed all day cuddled with her toys, she was able to go back to school.

"Yes, mommy. I can't wait! It's show and tell day!" The little girl sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. For once, she had a night where she didn't get up from coughing or having something hurt on her.

As Bonnie followed her mother to the kitchen to eat breakfast and get ready for school, her toys sprung to life.

"My darling babies! Oh, I'm just gonna miss you SO MUCH!" Mrs. Potato Head wailed and hugged her three aliens. She and Mr. Potato Head were going to the school for Bonnie's show and tell.

"They'll be just fine, dear. Hamm will take good care of them," Mr. Potato Head comforted his wife while throwing the piggybank a smirk.

"Oh boy," Hamm muttered.

The toys froze in toy mode as Bonnie ran back to the room. She dressed, brushed her hair, then grabbed her backpack that held the Potato Heads and left for school.

After a week of being trapped inside Bonnie's room, the toys were free to do whatever they wanted. As soon as the car drove away, Woody and Slinky dragged out the checkerboard to the kitchen; Rex and Trixie eagerly ran into the living room to play on Mr. Anderson's new Xbox 1; Mr. Pricklepants was setting up his props for the next play; and Buzz and Jessie scurried quickly out of the room with large grins plastered on their faces.

"Alright, boys. We have lost time to make up for so place your bets!" Buttercup waved a few Monopoly dollar bills and some batteries in the air at Chuckles and Hamm.

"I'm game!" Hamm plopped down next to the unicorn.

"I thought you had to babysit," Buttercup smirked. Hamm just shrugged and started to hand out cards to the other two toys.

Meanwhile, sitting in between Hamm and Chuckles, the three aliens sat quietly and watched the poker game. About five minutes into the game, one of them got up and stood behind Hamm.

"Ohhhhhh, 4 kiiiiings," commented the alien.

"For crying out loud! You just gave away my hand!" cried Hamm and turned around to glare at the aliens.

"Only one ace. You're gonna looooose" another alien said while peeking at Buttercup's hand.

"Are you serious!?" Buttercup yelled.

"How about you three just get lost and bother someone else," said Hamm and shooed the aliens away.

The three bounded to the other side of the room where Mr. Pricklepants was mapping out where to place his set for his next play. His spring season consisted of "My Fair Lady" with Buzz and Jessie as the leads, and the aliens as every other character. Hearing the squeaks behind him, the hedgehog turned around.

"Ah! There you guys are! Why, eager young actors putting in extra rehearsal hours; the lords of theater would be proud." Pricklepants started to lead the aliens to their positions in preparation for rehearsal.

"Hmmm, well since our romantic leads are elsewhere, I'll pretend to be Madame Jessie while you guys perform your parts."

Within about 10 minutes of rehearsal, the aliens watched as Pricklepants recited both the lines back and forth between the lover leads to himself. One of them laid eyes on a set piece that protruded out and motioned for his brothers to follow him. When they reached the end of the piece, the weight of the three caused the whole stage to rise before a crack was heard. All the set pieces fell down on top of Pricklepants, who was standing in the middle of the stage.

"Curse you scoundrels!" he yelled from underneath the rubble, a small paw punching the air. Taking that as their cue to run, the aliens made a break for the living room.

* * *

"Get him, Rex! Get him!"

Trixie and Rex were fiercely tapping on the Xbox 1 controller playing their game on the television in the living room. They were on their last level and so engrossed in their game that they didn't notice three little green men trotting into the room.

"Ooooo jump rope!" one of the aliens pointed out to his two brothers. They were eyeing the cord dangling in midair between the dinosaurs and the television. They ran over and started hurdling themselves over the cord back and forth.

"Hey! What are you doing!? Stop!" Trixie yelled at the aliens while trying to take down one of the enemies on her game.

One of the aliens suddenly jumped to low and his foot got tangled up in the cord while knocking the plug out of the game console. The television screen went blue and the dinosaurs stared at it in utter disbelief for a minute.

"We were so close…" whimpered Rex.

"Why did you guys have to come over here and mess up everything!? Do you KNOW how long it took us to reach level 38?" Trixie yelled at the aliens. They stood there looking at her for a moment (because Trixie rarely raised her voice) and booked it out of the room.

* * *

Bullseye was enjoying a nice afternoon nap as the sun shined down on him through the window of the back door. He rolled onto his back; one of his hooves twitching in midair. He cracked open an eye when he heard a squeaky noise approaching.

"Buuuuuullseyeeeeee," one of the aliens addressed him.

"We wanna riiiiiiiiide," another one remarked. Together, all three of them started to jump on the slumbering horse to wake him up.

Bullseye reluctantly got up and the aliens cheered and hopped onto his saddle.

"Giddy up, horsie!" one of them tapped him on the head. The horse took off at a fast speed causing the aliens to hang on tight.

"Woahhhhhhh!" they exclaimed as the horse headed towards the kitchen.

* * *

"King me!"

"Darn it, Woody! Again?"

Woody and Slinky were sitting under the kitchen table playing a game of checkers. The game was tied at the moment and they were strategically trying to plan out their next moves.

All of a sudden, a flash of brown collided into Woody and the game board flew across the room; checker pieces flying everywhere.

"Bullseye! What is the meaning of this?" Woody yelled at the horse while straightening up his posture.

"Yeah! What's got ya so dog gone excited?" seconded Slinky.

Bullseye looked at the two toys and motioned to the aliens on his saddle. One of the aliens was tugging on his tail while another was using his ears as a steering wheel.

"Guys! That is NOT how you order Bullseye around! You don't treat him like a racecar! Now get off of him and go find somewhere else to be!" yelled Woody.

The aliens hopped off of the horse and ran out of the kitchen, past Trixie and Rex who were still trying to recover their lost game, and to the hallway.

* * *

"Buzzie!"

As soon as Buzz and Jessie walked into Bonnie's parent's room, Buzz shut the door and drew the cowgirl to him and started kissing up and down her neck causing her to squeal.

"Hmm?" he hummed against her plastic skin as he moved the material of her collar aside, causing the cowgirl to moan.

Jessie didn't respond and pressed her lips desperately against his as he yanked the yellow ribbon out of her hair and tangled his fingers in it while another hand traveled down her upper thigh under her chaps. The two shared a long, passionate kiss; their pent up frustrations of the past week of having no alone time slowly dissipating.

The cowgirl felt herself being picked up, and she wrapped her legs around Buzz's waist as he brought her to the space between the bed and the wall. He laid her down on the pillow that was forgotten by Bonnie's mom to put back on the bed, and immediately straddled her.

In mid-kiss, he reached up and took her hat off from underneath her and threw it over his shoulder. It collided with a picture frame, which produced a very loud crashing noise, and the two stared at it for a moment. They merely shrugged and Jessie locked her arms around his neck and pressed herself to Buzz.

"C-mere you."

* * *

Heads hanging low, the aliens meandered through the hallway heading back to Bonnie's room, until a loud crash caught their ears. They stopped for a second and determined the noise came from Bonnie's parent's room.

Curiously, they walked over to the door, and stood on each other's shoulders to open the door slowly and they walked in.

A strange noise greeted their ears as they stood at the entrance quietly, followed by a deeper noise. It sounded like someone was hurt.

"Sounds like someone's in trouuuuble," whispered one of the aliens.

"It's coming from up thereeee," seconded another one.

Together, the three bounced over to the side of the bed, and crawled up the bedspread. They blinked when emptiness greeted them on top of the bed, and they stood there for a second.

Just then, a high pitched squeal was sounded throughout the room.

"Sounds like Jeeessieee," an alien said.

"It's coming from over thereeee," responded another one.

The three walked to the other side of the bed and peered down and spotted Buzz and Jessie on the floor.

"Ooooooooooh," they all three said.

Hearing a noise during her moment of euphoria, Jessie cracked open her eyes and looked over Buzz's shoulder. Nine sets of eyes were staring down at her from the top of the bed and she shrieked, knocking Buzz off set.

"Jess! What's wrong!?" he panted.

"WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOIN'!?" roared Jessie as Buzz slowly looked up.

"Are you playing leeeeap frog?" asked one of the green guys.

"We wanna play toooo!" responded another.

Before Jessie and Buzz knew it, the three LGM's pounced on them and started jumping up and down on top of the couple. Jessie threw all three aliens off of them.

"YA LITTLE VARMINTS BETTER MAKE A RUN FOR IT OR I'LL SEND Y'ALL PACKIN' TO TIMBUKTU!"

"Oh boy!" the aliens exclaimed and made a run for it with the cowgirl hot on their heels.

* * *

"You guys ready? Here we go!"

Dolly threw the peas up in the air and caught them back in their pod. They were quietly playing in the corner of Bonnie's room; Dolly was trying to get the peas tired so they could nap.

Right after Dolly threw the peas in the air a second time, there was a massive collision of peas, aliens, and herself.

"What is the meaning of this?" she exclaimed to the aliens.

"Saaaave uuuus!" they cried.

"Whaaa?" Dolly looked up as she heard cowgirl boots stomping on the hardwood floor and Jessie was storming straight at them muttering curse words. The felt doll smirked at the cowgirl's appearance; her hair was a mess and not in a braid, her collar and chaps were crooked and she didn't have her hat.

"Lemme at 'em!" yelled the cowgirl and swung her fists around wildly as Dolly held her arm back.

"Woah! Calm down, cowgirl…what happened?" Dolly grabbed Jessie's arms and tried to steady the cowgirl all the while trying to hide the smirk because she KNEW what just happened judging from Jessie's appearance.

The angry cowgirl tried to come up with something, but then Buzz walked into the room in a daze; holding her hat with his wings still out; the lights flashing quickly.

"Well, are you happy to see all of us or what, space ranger?" remarked Buttercup from across the bedroom.

Noticing the three toys playing poker in the middle of the room staring and smirking at him and Jessie, Buzz walked over while retracting his wings and placed the cowgirl's hat on her head to try to cover up her disheveled look.

"Let's just say that Jess and I were trying to have some peace and quiet, and being unjustifiably interrupted during our, uh, oh boy…" Buzz tried.

"Keep going!" yelled Hamm, clearly enjoying the awkwardness.

Jessie stared down at the ground with her fists clenched to her side, and Dolly looked at the couple pitifully.

"Okay you two, go back to whatever it is you do, I'll keep them at bay," said Dolly. The couple smiled gratefully at her then hurried out of the room while glaring at Hamm as he wished them a "happy afternoon delight".

"Okay, now that that's taken care of…" Dolly muttered and looked behind her. There curled on the beanbag chair were the aliens and peas sleeping peacefully. Smiling to herself, Dolly retreated to the top of the bed and curled up with a book.

A couple hours later, the toys froze in toy mode as the car pulled up and Bonnie bounced into her bedroom.

"Hi toys! I had such a good day! Everybody loved Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head!" she reached in her bag and pulled the potatoes out.

"Bonnie! Your pizza rolls are done!"

"Yay!" Bonnie ran to the kitchen for her after school snack.

"My babies!"

Mrs. Potato Head ran over to her alien children and enveloped them in a bone-crushing hug.

"How were my darlings?" she asked the group of toys. Hamm cleared his throat and everybody started talking at once about their troubles with the aliens from earlier until Dolly shushed the group.

"What everybody is trying to say is that they were nothing but sweethearts all day."

Everybody glared at Dolly.

"Sweethearts? They caught Buzz and Jessie-" started Hamm.

"Shut up, Hamm!" Jessie kicked the piggy bank.

"Mrs. Potato Head, one thing I need to tell you is that your children need to be careful with how they play with Bullseye-" started Woody.

"And play around power cords-" seconded Trixie.

"And jump on my strategically placed scenery-" inputted Pricklepants.

"And learn how to play poker-" said Hamm. The toys stopped and looked at him. "What?"

Mrs. Potato Head just smiled and nodded at the speaking toys. "So that means you guys were teaching my sons new things. ACK! I'm so thankful for caring babysitters that care about the well being of my children!"

The toys rolled their eyes as Buzz led the female spud away from the group.

"Mrs. P. Y-your ch-chi-children witnessed, um, Jess and I, um-heh, being involved-d in c-c-ertain…activites and-" he looked over at Jessie who pulled her hat over her face, "we want to make sure they are okay and not c-confused or heh, anything."

"Oh don't be silly dear, the Mr. and I know exactly what that's like! They think he and I are love-wrestling and it makes them happy that their parents love each other. They are totally fine!"

All the toys in the room overheard and stared at Mrs. Potato Head in utter shock and Buttercup wolf whistled.

Mr. Potato Head walked over to the group looking unamused with the aliens hanging off of him; one crawling into his butt flap. Mrs. Potato Head clasped her hands together and leaned her head on her hand.

"Ugh! How can you stand that?" commented Woody.

"You tell me," responded Mr. Potato Head while rolling his eyes. "Besides, it could be you one day," he pointed to Buzz as the space ranger gulped.


End file.
